Boned: a horror story


Dateline: last night @ 9:30-ish!

Here’s me, fixing to bone me some chicken breasts I scored (because what I have learned is that if you want boneless breasts with the skin still on, you have to Bone Your Own). So to speak.

Learned how to do it from some Youtube videos, and I am all set to bone, but wouldn’t you know, the instant me knife touches the first one,  the work-phone goes off.

“Hooray!” I screamed at the filthy thing as it vibrated around on the counter (the phone, not the chicken, which was quite still), but I am obligated to answer it, as I am the on-call IT Jerk this weekend.

Long story short, server problem, couldn’t log into and fix it via VPN because of what we refer to in the business of IT Jerkery as:

“F*ckin shit’s f*ckin f*cked, man”. So to speak.

Thus, I hastily put all my raw chicken back in the fridge and drove into the office, singing all the way…

“… if you want boneless breasts with the skin still on, you have to Bone Your Own..”.

When I finally stumbled back home at 12:30 I ate some pita chips and went to bed.

But now, my friends, in the bold light of a new day; it’s Chicken Bonin’ Time! So to speak.

Hold my calls.


The end result: A magnificent deboned chicken breast, with skin on, accompanied by basmati rice with shallots, celery and thyme. Shot with my cool new iPod Touch, and is all blurry because the scene was lit with a lightbulb.

3 thoughts on “Boned: a horror story

  1. Good for you for avoiding the obvious option — IT Jerk chicken. (Hahaha!) What’s in that sauce, chef? Besides, one assumes, despair.

  2. Yes, that would have been the low-hanging fruit; I made the classier choice by opting for a series of boner jokes.

    The sauce is one of those package things (Clubhouse, I believe), enhanced with sage, and just a soupçon of despair.

    If you press your ear against your monitor, you can hear it softly whimpering!

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